By Nadine Briggs and Donna Shea
When kids have difficulty forming strong friendship connections, they tend to hold on more tightly to the friends they do make. A healthy amount of attention is fine, but sometimes the connection may begin to feel more like an obsession. Kids might claim that they can’t be happy unless they’re with that particular friend. They might even make threatening statements about the friend if their anxiety takes hold. The more they perceive that the friend might be pulling away, the tighter they will hold on.
The result can often be losing the friend if the other child feels suffocated by the obsession. Your child might be driving away the friend they are working so hard to hold onto.
How can you prevent this fixation from ruining the friendship? Work to broaden the friend group to include more kids. Create special memories with other friends to create more balance. Point out how our different friends all bring something different and needed to our lives. One friend might be the funny one that always brings laughter, another might be a good listener and problem solver and another still might be quirky and interesting to be with.
Friends are not easy to find for some kids so it’s understandable that they want to hold on. Clinging too tight, though, could cause them to lose the relationship that they cherish.
