Joey reaches in front of another child to grab a building block piece to the tune of, “Hey, give that back! I was using it!” Zoey wants a magic marker to draw her picture and when she reaches for it, bumps another child’s hand, receives an angry look and a “You just ruined my picture!” retort. Brayson is forever getting in trouble at recess for playing too roughly and not being to maintain safe space.
Kids who struggle with personal space do better with a visual demonstration, or a more concrete way to think about maintaining personal space. We talk to kids about the imaginary bubble (or invisible square fence or force shield) that surrounds each person. Some people’s bubbles are smaller and they do not mind if you get close, but other people have larger bubbles. If someone has taken a step back, that person’s bubble has been popped and it is important to take a step back or stop coming closer. It can be helpful for a child to practice with a bubble that can be seen, such as a hula hoop. It is also helpful for your child to hold his or her arms out and turn in a slow circle near you or in a small group of kids that are practicing how close is comfortable with each other – if he or she bumps someone then he or she is too close. A safe distance while standing is about an arm’s length and if a child is sitting, a forearm’s length.
When doing table work or playing with building blocks or drawing materials, you can help your child with personal space by describing how each person has an invisible square in front of them at the table. It should be assumed that any materials in that square are being used by that person and if your child desires to use something in front of something else, he or she should ask if that item is available and wait for an answer without reaching in and grabbing. Kids who struggle with personal space issues are truly unaware that they are too close to others so it is important to give them tools and tricks to understand where their body is in relation to others.
