By Nadine Briggs and Donna Shea
I (Nadine) host a Halloween party for the teenagers who attend Simply Social Kids every year. Over the years of hosting teen parties for kids with social challenges, we have learned which types of games work well and which don’t,
how to serve the food so kids don’t overeat and which foods to serve (no popcorn with all those braces!), how to have contests and even how much pizza to provide. Socially, it is probably the safest and easiest party for any middle-high school teen to attend. We have a sensory break room for kids to get away from the mayhem and understanding staff who are there to support any needs that should arise. Kids who attend always have a blast and leave smiling and happy.
Even so, each year there are kids who have no other plans but are still reluctant to attend. Social anxiety can still creep in despite the supportive atmosphere of the party. I spend the two weeks prior to the party discussing the “why not” with the kids who say they don’t want to go. I think of them sitting home alone while other kids are at the party having a great time.
My message to them is to just say “yes” and take the leap to go. If they are truly having an awful time, they can always call their parents and leave. I want them to learn to take a social risk when I know that they will have the best chance of it going well. A well-planned party with understanding and support is an awesome opportunity to gain that big group party experience.
If your child is invited to a social event, you might also be met with reluctance. By giving them support around how to attend, talking with the host family about what is planned, possibly even role-playing how the party might go are ways to help alleviate social anxiety. As a last resort, let them know that if he or she is really having a hard time and is not able to stay that you will be able to pick them up early. Forcing them to stay could increase anxiety levels for the next time.
By experiencing these events, they will be better prepared to manage the social environment of a house party in their future. Saying “yes” gives them that chance.
