By Donna Shea & Nadine Briggs
Trash-talk can be fun when playing games with friends if the right tone is communicated. Saying to an opponent, “You are sooooo going down,” with laughter in your voice and a smile on your face is fun. When does trash talk become a put-down? It can be a fine line between having fun and hurting someone else’s feelings. We also see a lot of kids who get caught up in bragging to other players about their own skill at a game which leaves the other kids to feel upset or discouraged. The kids who use discouraging language or brag will typically find themselves not having anyone to play with after a short time.
In addressing this social challenge, we coach kids on replacing the trash talk that isn’t kind, or bragging with using encouraging words with their opponents. One of the best games that I use to practice this skill is Wii bowling, because the feedback on how you are playing is so immediate. When a kid gets a gutter ball or misses the pin, I model for the kids how to encourage each other. Here is a list of simple phrases you can teach your child to use to encourage his or her friends, or to be a good winner or loser, when playing a competitive type of game:
- “You almost had it!
- “Nice try!”
- “So close!”
- “You’ll get it next time!”
- “Way to go!”
- “Good game!”
- “You beat me! Let’s have a re-match!”
This quote sums it up nicely. We can improve our relationships with others by leaps and bounds if we become encouragers instead of critics. -Joyce Meyer
Smack talk can add a fun element to play as long as the right tone is reached and it doesn’t go too far. For kids who have difficulty knowing the difference, the phrases above can be helpful to keep in mind.
