By Nadine Briggs and Donna Shea
Walking into a new social setting can be intimidating and even anxiety-provoking. If you don’t know the people who are going to be there and they don’t know you, it takes courage and effort to show who you are and get to know them. It can be particularly difficult if you have had negative interactions with peers
in the past. At this time of year, kids are stepping on to school buses with unscuffed sneakers and shiny new lunch boxes ready for a new school year. The way that they look, and I’m not talking about their actual appearance, matters in how they are perceived by potential new friends.
1. If feeling scared, kids might tend to have an uncertain or even sad look on their face. Paying attention to their expression and having them think of puppies or something that makes them feel smiley can help to create a friendlier expression.
2. Walking with their shoulders back and head up conveys a level of confidence that they can fake if they don’t actually feel confident. Others are more likely to be drawn to someone who appears to be self-assured.
3. The tone of voice used when meeting someone new can also leave a positive or negative impression. Others can tell if you’re smiling even if they are talking to you on the phone and can’t see your face. Tone should be upbeat and friendly sounding and not gruff or sad if they can help it.
Children and teens might need to be reminded that the past does not determine their future. If they have had difficulty with friendships in the past that does not mean that they will always have a hard time making friends. Encourage them to practice a friendly expression in the mirror at home, use a light-hearted tone when talking to other and think optimistically that they will find new friends this school year.
If kids and teens present themselves as someone who is open to friendship by having a pleasant demeanor, they just might make some new friends to go with those shiny new shoes.
