By Nadine Briggs and Donna Shea
Our (Nadine’s) family has a few birthdays that we celebrate in January. My husband’s birthday is today, with mine being on Thursday. As I enter this “birthday celebration week,” it occurred to me that birthdays at any age can be fun and pleasant or filled with pressure and anxiety.
It seems like for adults; it starts at age 29 when young adults are saying goodbye to their 20’s and are concerned about what their relationship status is at that point in their lives. Are they married? Is the biological clock ticking to start a family? They can feel the pressure that they have not achieved whatever internal goals they had set for themselves. Does this hinder the celebratory aspect of such a birthday?
For those turning the “legal adult” age of 18, they tell me that they are somewhat afraid of what adulthood means and if they are ready for that. I think the band AJR says it best in their song:
Don’t Throw Out My Legos:
“Oh no, don’t throw out my Legos
What if I can’t let go
What if I come back home, back home
Oh no, don’t throw out my Legos
What if I can’t let go
What if I come back home, back home
Can we keep my Legos at home?
‘Cause I wanna move out
I don’t wanna move on”
We coach teens and young adults on this very subject by explaining they will do or achieve whatever it is that they are ready for at that age. Everyone is on a different path, so follow your own and don’t concern yourself with the journey of others.
For kids, they will wake up on their actual birthday expecting to feel different and older somehow. They get super excited about whatever celebration their family has planned, and the expectations can become enormous. Sometimes, a small thing will go wrong, and they’ll blow up and meltdown because they had such high hope of the perfect day.
With our birthday week upon us, we have decided to celebrate. We are where we are in life, and we have done our best along the way with no regrets. We will have a no-pressure celebration and enjoy the fact that we are aging, hopefully gracefully, together.
